


your secret admirer

by bythunder



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fluff, Secret Admirer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-25 20:03:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13220196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bythunder/pseuds/bythunder
Summary: Sansa's too shy to tell Jon how she feels, but she's braver when she signs her letters 'your secret admirer'.





	your secret admirer

**Author's Note:**

> For jonxsansafanfiction's Twelve Days of Shipping

It was only three days into her freshman year when Sansa fell absolutely, positively, head-over-heels in love with Jon Snow. The gorgeous upperclassman who spent his study periods helping out the little old lady who ran the library and made sure all the incoming freshmen knew how to find their classes. That’s how they met. Sansa had gotten turned around in the flurry of students running through the halls, there was so many more people here than in her middle school, and somehow she’d ended up in the library when she was supposed to be across the building and up three stories in her biology class. Not only did Jon patiently explain to her the map of the campus, he also walked her to her class himself. And when Mr. Qyburn was about to write her a detention slip, Jon convinced him to let it slide, just this once, so long as Sansa promised never to be late again. He was possibly the sweetest person Sansa had met at this school so far.

The only problem was he was a junior. Upperclassmen didn’t pay any attention to the freshmen girls, at least, that’s what Robb told her. Freshmen were practically babies. Juniors had more important things to think about, like getting their driver’s licenses and applying for colleges. Nothing that little fourteen year-olds could possibly understand. Sansa had wanted to cry when Robb told her there was no way Jon Snow would ever like-like her, but if she cried, then it proved Robb right. Sansa was determined to prove that she was mature enough to be with an older boy, and that meant she couldn’t cry over silly things anymore.

But it seemed like maybe Robb was right after all. Sansa went to the library almost every day to see Jon and he was always friendly, but they never made anything more than small talk. He would always smile and ask if she was lost on her way to a class again, which would make her giggle no matter how many times he said it. Sometimes he’d ask how her classes were going or what books she was reading, but then Ms. Nan would ask him to fix one of the computers or another student would claim his attention. Which was alright, because even if they did talk, Sansa wasn’t sure what to say to him. The only thoughts in her head when his beautiful grey eyes were on her were, _he’s so handsome,_ and, _he’s got the greatest voice_ , and somewhere underneath all that was the distant chime of wedding bells. There was an entire swarm of butterflies in her stomach and her heart beat at a different pace and all the sudden, the ability to form sentences completely left her. Talking to him was entirely out of the question.

The thought struck her as she was absently doodling hearts (which may or may not have been surrounding the initials _SS+JS_ ) in the margins of her notebook. If she couldn’t talk to him, maybe she could write instead! She ripped a page out of her notebook and pulled out her favorite sparkly purple gel pen and got to work. She wrote down all the things she wanted to say to Jon but couldn’t quite manage.

When she was satisfied with what she wrote, she carefully folded up the paper into a tight little triangle and slipped it into her pocket. She didn’t know where his locker was, but all the upperclassmen had theirs in the same hallway. She could pretend to be checking in with Robb and hopefully she would be able to catch Jon and then she could slip the note into his locker. For a brief moment, Sansa thought she could be brave enough to give it to him directly, but, she’d already chickened out of signing her name to the love letter, changing the first two letters of her name to _Secret Admirer_ instead. It wouldn’t be much of a secret if she just handed it to him. This way was better. Less mortifying than if he turned her down to her face.

After that first note, writing to Jon became something of a habit. Even though she was still tongue-tied when it came to talking to him, she would write down all the things she wished she could say. Not just about her crush, but the conversations she wanted to have with him. Last week in the library, he’d asked her how she liked her English teacher, Mr. Lannister. _He’s one of my favorites_ , Jon told her and Sansa wanted to agree, however she only managed to squeak, _he’s alright._ As soon as he left, Sansa immediately pulled out a piece of paper and wrote that down. How much she enjoyed Mr. Lannister’s class and the books he picked for them to read, how she liked that he always seemed to have a different point of view and encouraged them to start thinking a bit more out of the box. And when Jon had talked to her about his siblings, Sansa returned that sentiment tenfold in her next letter. Even if he wasn’t writing her back and he didn’t even know it was her, Sansa still felt like they were growing closer.

After a month of sending notes in secret, Sansa decided she was brave enough to reveal herself. A week before Homecoming, that was the perfect time, she thought. If he liked her too, then they could go to the game together, huddle under a blanket, share hot chocolate. And maybe, they would go to the dance on Saturday night too. Just the picture of it in her head, she knew the exact dress she would wear, and Jon in a suit with a tie to match her dress, made her feel giddy. She couldn’t stop her smile as she made her way through the junior’s hall to Jon’s now very familiar locker.

However, just before she reached her destination, she saw something to make her stop. Jon was standing by his locker, looking gorgeous as always in that doesn’t-even-try way of his, smiling that close-lipped but bright smile that made her heart do bellyflops. It wasn’t him that made her pause, though, it was who he was smiling at. It was Val, a senior. Sansa had never talked to her, but she had a reputation around school. She was the coolest, the smartest, she was pretty and sporty and funny. Everyone either wanted to be her or date her. And by the way she was touching Jon’s shoulder, it looked like she wanted to date Jon.

Sansa tore up the note in her hand, the last secret admirer note she meant to pass along. Robb was right this whole time, Sansa was just a silly little freshman, still just a kid. She was delusional if she ever thought Jon was anything more than just friendly to her. She’d made up this entire relationship in her head and of course, she had to see reality eventually, but it still hurt. Her heart physically ached when she saw Val wrap her arms around Jon and she held off long enough to duck into the nearest girls’ room before the tears started to fall.

+

What Sansa didn’t see, as she rushed away from the upperclassmen’s lockers, was Jon pulling Val’s arms off his shoulders. She was at it again, trying to convince him to go to a dumb high school dance with her, although, after years of friendship, it was more of an inside joke between them now. Val would ask him to every dance, Homecoming, the Valentine’s Dance and Prom, and Jon would always turn her down. “It’s my last homecoming dance, ever, Jon! Please?” She begged, throwing her arms around his neck. Jon laughed and shook her off him. He looked up in time to see Sansa Stark running down the hall. He knew she had a little bit of a crush on him and if he was honest, he liked her too. She was a little shy, but it was cute. And the notes she’d been leaving in his locker all month, they were sweet. He kept them in the side pocket of his backpack and no matter how many times he reread them, they would always bring a smile to his face. She hadn’t signed her name to any of them, but he figured it out from the first note. He’d seen Sansa scratching away with that purple gel pen in the library and her handwriting was very distinct, feminine and loopy and one of a kind. He’d almost asked her about it after that first note showed up in his locker, but he didn’t want to embarrass her. She’d signed it _your secret admirer_ after all, clearly she wasn’t ready for him to know yet. But from then on, he tried to let her know, subtly, that it was okay for her to talk to him. He made a point to try and talk to her whenever she came by the library and he’d ask how it was going if they ever passed each other in the halls. If he was honest with himself, Sansa was the kind of girl he wouldn’t mind going to a dance with.

He would’ve asked her too, but since that day with Val, Sansa Stark had suddenly vanished from his life. He hadn’t seen her in the library all week and she must’ve started taking different routes to her classes. He’d asked Robb about it, just to make sure nothing bad had happened to her, but her brother didn’t even seem to notice that anything had changed. Jon was a little worried when it’d been weeks and still nothing from her. Even her secret admirer notes had stopped coming.

Sansa managed to completely avoid him until Robb invited Jon over to their house for a party right after school broke for the holidays. As much as Jon liked Robb, half the reason he agreed to come was for the chance to run into Sansa. It would be a lot harder for her to avoid him in her own home.

Or so he thought, yet she managed it some how. Over the course of the evening, the other three of Robb’s younger siblings had made appearances. Rickon and Bran had come down to the basement to pick a fight with Robb about who had dibs on the xbox and twelve year-old Arya just wanted to hang out with the cool high schoolers, no matter how many times Robb shoved her back upstairs. But Sansa was noticeably and intentionally absent. Jon waited until Robb was engaged in an intense showdown of Mortal Kombat with Theon Greyjoy before stealing off upstairs with hopes of finding where she was hiding.

As luck would have it, he didn’t need to search at all. Just as he came up from the downstairs, she was coming down from the upstairs. Her eyes went wide when she saw him and her knuckles tightened over the rail. “Sansa, wait!” He called out just as she was about to turn around and retreat back upstairs. “I want to talk to you for a second.”

“Okay…” she replied cautiously, not retreating anymore, but not coming any closer either.

“I, uh, haven’t seen you around school, lately. How have you been?”

“I’ve been alright.”

“That’s good.” He didn’t mean to get caught up on the small talk, so he pushed forward before Sansa decided she’d had enough and left. “So, I had this secret admirer at the beginning of the year. But, um, she stopped writing to me in October and I don’t know what happened. Do you think you could help me figure out what went wrong?”

Sansa’s face immediately went bright pink. “Why would I know anything about that?”

“Just wanted to have a girl’s opinion.”

For some reason, that was the wrong thing to say. She looked at him with flared nostrils and a mighty frown and said, “Why don’t you ask Val?”

“Val? Why would I—”

“Aren’t you two dating?”

He actually laughed out loud at that. Val was more like a sister to him than anything else. Dating her would be like dating Rhaenys, he would never. “Oh my god, I think I figured it out.”

“Don’t laugh at me!” Sansa scowled at him.

“Did you think I was with Val this whole time? Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?”

“I was not—”

“And you stopped sending me those letters.”

“…you knew that was me?”

“The whole time, yeah.”

“And you just let me keep doing it?” Her voice wavered and she sounded like she was about to cry. “Why didn’t you say anything? If you don’t like me, you could’ve just said so, Jon!”

“But I do like you.”

Sansa’s pretty blue eyes blinked wide in surprise. “What?”

“I said I like you too, Sansa.” He climbed up the few stairs separating them until they were at eye level with one another. “I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to embarrass you. You were supposed to be my _secret_ admirer, after all.”

Sansa bit back a smile and wiped a tear away from her eye. “What gave me away?”

“You’re the only girl in school who uses purple pens. It was a little obvious.” He grinned at her and she finally allowed herself to smile back. “So, what do you say, Sansa? Want to go out sometime?”

“Yes!”


End file.
